Excuse Me - You're in MY Seat

I wanted to reflect a little on an infamousThis is done to raise funds for the synagogue,
moment for many a person who has entered aand it seems to work. So if a seat technically
modern synagogue. Picture it. You're in a strangebelongs to you, and you will have a better prayer
town for the weekend, and you decide to go toexperience in that specific location, could it be my
Shabbat (Sabbath) services at a local synagogue.initial critical tone was totally uncalled for?
You step inside, nervously pick up a prayer bookI don't believe so. You see, we're in a different
and take a random seat. Lots of people areworld now.
chatting. Although nobody is being rude to you, noJews are flocking away from Judaism by the
one is really going out of their way to greet youminute. We are fighting for the souls of each and
either. Things get started. Everybody starts toevery Jew, and if we don't get a grip on
pray. You join them. And finally someone comesintermarriage and assimilation, our people might
over to talk to you.suffer irreparable damages.
Finally someone wishes to greet the new person.When I first walked into the Chabad center at
They tap you on the shoulder, look you in themy university, ignorant of anything and everything
eyes, and with pure devotion to our Creator inabout Judaism, I was greeted by what was
Heaven say: "Excuse me. You're in my seat."potentially one of the most welcoming group I
Now I don't want to be overly critical. Thehad ever witnessed. In fact, this trend continued
concept of seat "possession" is not radical. Thereeverywhere I went in that town. At both the local
is a well established custom that everyone in themodern orthodox synagogue (Beth
synagogue should have what's called a "makomAbraham-Jacob) and the place we called "the
kavua", that is a set place where they alwaysShtiebel" I would get surrounded by people inviting
pray.me to their house for Shabbat meals the
Why?moment I walked in.
Like everything else, the more you do somethingThe impact was tremendous and unforgettable.
in a particular location, the easier it is to get in theThink about it. The impact was so incredible that I
mood for that particular activity.decided to move to Israel and study Torah there.
For example, most folk involved in health will tellNot terribly long after that I met my wife. Now
you that if you're having trouble sleeping, oneI'm working as a rabbi in a fantastic Jewish Day
problem might be watching TV in bed. That's notSchool, and raising the most amazing children the
the bed's purpose. Limit the roles for the bedworld has ever known.
(there really should only be two roles), andThink how different my life might have been if
sleeping there should become easier. You shouldsomeone had kicked me out of their seat!
instantly get drowsy just from lying down.So, ladies and gentleman, I'm not saying that the
So too, some people have trouble workingconcept of makom kavua is unfounded. I just
anywhere but their office. Somehow or otherdon't think think it translates well into our
that desk and that chair generate a feeling in yougeneration.
that makes you more productive.Yes, it might technically be your seat. And sure,
If you always pray in the same spot, thenyou might have a better prayer experience if you
praying in that spot becomes more and moresit there. But sometimes you might just have to
natural.let it go. Think about what you might be missing if
Also, in many synagogues people purchase seats.you don't.