| Building a Social Circle from Scratch | | | | before their fifth latte. |
| Ever heard the saying "you've got to have | | | | You get the idea - while these lists and |
| money to make money"? Of course you have; | | | | suggestions are certainly well-intended, rarely do |
| everyone has. Well, there is a lesser known sister | | | | they actually pan out in the fast access to "New |
| saying to this one that goes something like | | | | Friend Town" for which you are hoping. Don't get |
| "you've got to have friends to make friends". And | | | | me wrong, these avenues can be very successful |
| while I don't necessarily agree with the former | | | | over time. But if you'd like to move a bit faster, |
| (although it can certainly help), I whole-heartedly | | | | than perhaps we'd better return to the wonderful |
| believe the latter, or at least that it makes the | | | | world of the web. |
| process a lot easier. | | | | Move over Sonny, Auntie is Coming Through |
| The truth is that when you already have a circle | | | | Our children have grown up with access to the |
| of friends, it is much easier to invite others to join | | | | internet, and therefore have never questioned |
| or meet "new members" through these | | | | that it could provide information, products and |
| established friendships. You are out and involved in | | | | services to answer absolutely every need they |
| doing things socially, and that is where the | | | | could ever think that they might possibly have, |
| majority of other folks are too - out and about. | | | | today or at any point in the future. I think you |
| However, when you are starting from scratch in | | | | get my point - the internet is a powerful and |
| building a circle of friends, it can be a bit difficult to | | | | successful tool, the ability and strength of which |
| even get your foot in the proverbial "social" door. | | | | our children have great confidence in. |
| The reality is that you aren't out and about simply | | | | Therefore it is no wonder that they might be the |
| because you don't have anyone else with whom | | | | first of us (demographically speaking) to use the |
| to be out and about there. Personally, many of | | | | internet in new and somewhat more successful |
| my favorite activities involve more than one | | | | ways. Meeting people online is a perfect example |
| participant or are simply more fun when shared | | | | of this. When a couple of college kids wanted to |
| with another- playing tennis, attending concerts, | | | | know who else was attending their school, they |
| dining out, catching up over a glass of wine, or | | | | didn't turn to a tried and true paper catalogue of |
| enjoying the requisite weekend BBQ. Of course | | | | students to check out profiles, they developed an |
| you can be happy doing your own thing, but when | | | | internet-based catalogue and let every student |
| shouting "who wants another burger", it is nice to | | | | put their own profile on it. The result is one of the |
| hear a reply other than the sound of your dog | | | | most successful concepts of our time: it is |
| licking his chops! | | | | current, and dynamic, and still a great way for |
| All the Lonely People, Where do they all Come | | | | these boys to check out all the "hot chicks" in |
| From | | | | their classes! |
| A report came out in 2004 -- the General Social | | | | Once we saw all the fun that our kids were |
| Survey -- which stated that the average | | | | having online, the adult demographic finally got the |
| American's circle of confidants, the number of | | | | point and started developing site for themselves. |
| people with whom they discuss important topics, | | | | Because, honestly, meeting people online is smart |
| is just two. While two was the average number, | | | | and convenient. It overcomes all of the hurdles |
| the study emphasized that the modal respondent | | | | from which traditional methods suffer and offers |
| claimed to have no (zero) confidants -- that is, | | | | some unique benefits: |
| the majority of respondents said that they have | | | | - It removes the element of chance. Yes, you |
| no one with whom they discuss significant topics. | | | | could meet a great friend in line at a coffee shop, |
| The report concluded that folks in the U.S. are | | | | but if you happen to be running late on a |
| socially isolated and basically lonely. | | | | particular morning, well then, there goes that |
| Unfortunately, a host of other reports on similar | | | | opportunity. |
| topics agree that Americans as a lot are a fairly | | | | - It removes the necessity of proximity. You |
| lonely bunch, and are so for a bunch of reasons: | | | | don't have to be running in the same park, at the |
| - We spend a significant amount of time alone in | | | | same time, in the same direction in order to meet |
| our cars commuting to work: our commutes are | | | | a gal who would be a great running partner for |
| longer than they've ever been | | | | you |
| - We work much longer hours than what | | | | - It removes the necessity on reliance. New |
| Americans used to work | | | | friends are met online without the necessity to |
| - We aren't as involved in our communities as we | | | | rely on chance encounters, common interests |
| used to be: | | | | performed at the same place and time, or with |
| | | | mutual friends. Perusing profiles online allows you |
| 1. we don't attend church | | | | to meet someone whom you otherwise would |
| 2. we don't volunteer, and | | | | never have run into, happened upon, or come |
| 3. we don't hang out with our neighbors, or even | | | | across at the neighbor's cocktail party. |
| borrow sugar anymore | | | | - It works on your time. Regardless of whether |
| - We move fairly frequently and to places farther | | | | that time is during your lunch-break, at midnight |
| away than we used to | | | | when everything else is done, or leisurely on a |
| - We divorce more often | | | | weekend. The internet and its websites are open |
| They had the Best of Intentions | | | | for business at anytime, and the time most |
| So how does an adult go about making new | | | | convenient for you. |
| friends and forming a social community in a new | | | | - It expands your possibilities. You live in |
| town, or under new circumstances (such as after | | | | Scottsdale and love to travel and your husband |
| a divorce or relationship change)? Well if you turn | | | | doesn't. You have a group that you like to travel |
| to the internet and search for terms such as" | | | | with, but none of them are interested in the |
| adult friends, women friendships, make new | | | | safari of which you've been dreaming. But Rhonda |
| friends"; you'll either find a slew of "adult" websites | | | | in Roswell is, and she is retired and can go |
| or another slew of social networking sites | | | | anytime. Meeting people online means that your |
| designed for high school and college-aged kids. | | | | "marketplace" for new travel buddies is unlimited. |
| Additionally, you'll find tons of articles providing | | | | The list of benefits goes on and on, but this article |
| identical suggestions on how to make friends in a | | | | doesn't have to. The net-net of this story is that |
| new town. These always include: | | | | meeting people online is a very smart thing to do, |
| - Joining a church or synagogue | | | | an easy thing to do, and a great way to expand, |
| - Volunteering | | | | create or revive your social circle. Everyone is |
| - Talking to people in the grocery store, coffee | | | | doing it, because it works, and works well.* |
| shop, or post office | | | | So if you are a woman who is looking to meet |
| - Taking up a new sport | | | | other women for friendship and for sharing |
| - Signing-up for a continuing education course | | | | hobbies and other interest, check out websites |
| These are all great suggestions, so I'll ask you to | | | | online targeted at you - especially the only |
| try any of them and let me know how they | | | | website (that I know of) designed specifically for |
| work out. What? Oh, you aren't religious you say. | | | | women-only for the purpose of facilitating |
| Okay, so scratch that one from your list. Don't | | | | friendship between women. |
| have time to feed your children, let alone | | | | *Of course, whenever meeting anyone online, |
| volunteer. I completely understand. Let's wipe that | | | | even if just two women seeking platonic |
| one from the list as well. Tried talking to the | | | | friendships and a cup of joe, precautions should be |
| woman in line in front of you while waiting for | | | | taken, like meeting in a public place, exchanging |
| your extra-foam-double-mocha-espresso and got | | | | personal information only when confidences have |
| no reply? Well, some folks just aren't social | | | | been established, etc. |