| Would I be overstating it if I went out on a limb | | | | many of the characteristics we attach to heroes |
| and made the bold assertion that we have lost | | | | and role models are central to the values and |
| our moral compass? And as a part of that | | | | beliefs put forth by the various religious |
| observation say that we have been holding up the | | | | denominations. |
| wrong people as our heroes and role models for | | | | Secondly, the family as we once knew it has |
| far too long! And it only seems to be getting | | | | changed considerably and I certainly do not |
| worse. | | | | believe for the better. Quite simply the family is |
| As a population in North America we are losing | | | | suffering from profound neglect. And the primary |
| our ability to discern the difference between right | | | | reason for this can be pretty much summed up |
| and wrong, fair or unfair, just or unjust and be | | | | and found in this quote by author and psychologist |
| willing to take a stand and declare ourselves. | | | | James Hillman: |
| Traditional morality is our sense of what is right or | | | | "I think we are miserable partly because we have |
| wrong, fair or unfair, just or unjust. | | | | only one god and that's economics. Economics is a |
| To go along with this it is also my contention that | | | | slave driver. No one has free time; no one has |
| a hero or role model must be a disciplined person, | | | | any leisure. The whole culture is under terrible |
| meaning that he/she should be prepared to take | | | | pressure and fraught with worry. It's hard to get |
| responsibility for their lives, always tell themselves | | | | out of that box. That's the dominant situation all |
| and therefore others the truth and as much as | | | | over the world." |
| possible lead a balanced life which among other | | | | James Hillman |
| things includes having integrity, courage, charity, | | | | Unfortunately with the gradual decline of religion |
| compassion, an ability to forgive and a willingness | | | | and family it has become increasingly difficult to |
| to delay gratification. | | | | find a standard or a code of conduct to live by, |
| Beyond what I believe are some of the | | | | something or someone to measure ourselves |
| characteristics of a hero are a number of others:o | | | | against, a moral compass if you would, a person |
| A man/woman admired for his/her achievements | | | | whose behaviour and example can guide us in |
| and noble qualities; one who shows great | | | | living our lives in compassionate, fruitful, and |
| courage,o Wisdom and fortitude to do what is | | | | productive ways. |
| right,o Possessing and displaying the highest level | | | | And finally, technology continues to fuel our |
| of charity, selfless dedication and a willingness to | | | | disconnect from the very essence of who we |
| put others first while seeking no attention for him | | | | are emotionally and spiritually. Television, |
| herself. | | | | computers, Blackberries, Facebook, Twitter, the |
| A role model is considered to be a person who | | | | list grows. |
| serves as a model in a particular behavioral or | | | | It is no wonder that our young people and a |
| social role for another person to emulate. A | | | | surprising number of our older people are |
| person who is unusually effective or inspiring in | | | | enamored by those found in the sport and |
| some social role, job, etc. and so serves as a | | | | entertainment pages of our papers and |
| model for others, in fact very similar or | | | | magazines, not to mention those that we see, |
| synonymous with a hero. | | | | hear and read about on television and on our |
| There is no better example to reinforce my | | | | computers. |
| assertion than Tiger Woods who many have held | | | | It is becoming abundantly clear that a growing and |
| up as a hero and role model. Up until very | | | | sizable portion of the population looks to sport and |
| recently many among us stood in awe of the | | | | entertainment for their heroes and role models, |
| golfer and only wished that we could be like him. | | | | their moral compass...and that is frightening. |
| He transcended the game. The qualities that he | | | | What to Do? |
| brought to the game of golf translated into | | | | In the popular song Hero, there are the words; "a |
| success beyond anyone's wildest imaginings. But | | | | hero lies in each and every one of us." The real |
| we made the mistake or the quantum leap of | | | | heroes and role models today are yes, you |
| concluding that he must also be a remarkable | | | | guessed it, everyday men and women; |
| man, husband and father. | | | | grandfathers and grandmothers, moms and dads, |
| Well that bubble burst didn't it! Clearly what we | | | | husbands and wives, sons and daughters, those |
| have come to know is that Tiger Woods is a | | | | who get up every day; shower, brush their teeth, |
| man-child who completely lacks traditional morality | | | | comb their hair and head out the door knowing |
| as defined here. As he was growing up | | | | that life can be difficult even at the best of times |
| somewhere along the fairway he got his wires | | | | but instead of shrinking back in defeat muster the |
| crossed and it will take a lot more than an | | | | emotional and spiritual strength to go on and |
| electrician to untangle them! As a matter of fact, | | | | make a life for themselves and for those they |
| I am not even sure 'Bagger Vance' could help | | | | love and cherish. |
| him? He has no sense of right or wrong, fair or | | | | It's funny but you never see any of these people |
| unfair, rather in fact has more of a sense of | | | | featured in People magazine, bit of a contradiction, |
| entitlement, a feeling of being above it all, | | | | don't you think! |
| omnipotent even. He has not taken responsibility | | | | Of the groups mentioned above parents must be |
| for his behavior and in particular has not been | | | | particularly singled out for their role. For the most |
| telling himself the truth. He has shown repeatedly | | | | part I believe that we are a product of our first |
| a complete lack of integrity and little if any | | | | family experiences. It is primarily our parents who |
| compassion for his family, the game of golf, golf | | | | we look to for the support and guidance we need |
| fans everywhere and the sponsors who have | | | | to grow up morally. It is here that we are |
| paid him millions of dollars. This man-child has no | | | | supposed to develop our moral compass, our |
| discipline in the way he conducts his personal life. | | | | moral code of conduct. And consciously or |
| The worlds greatest golfer, no question, but a | | | | unconsciously we hold our parents up as our role |
| hero or role model as a man, husband, father, | | | | models or heroes to show us the way. They |
| NOT EVEN CLOSE! | | | | should be the ones to emulate the kind of |
| There are countless examples of men and | | | | behaviour most associated with traditional |
| women similar to Tiger Woods throughout the | | | | morality. If they are not there, or worse, are |
| sport and entertainment world, men and women | | | | poor role models, then who? |
| who many unfortunately have and/or continue to | | | | Are You a Parent? |
| hold up as role models, even heroes just because | | | | Most of us have come from at the very least |
| they are accomplished professional athletes or | | | | mildly dysfunctional families and that generally |
| entertainers. | | | | means we are somewhat neurotic in our |
| When will we come to understand that heroes | | | | behaviour, which loosely translated means that |
| and role models are not by definition professional | | | | some days we feel pretty good about ourselves |
| athletes or entertainers? Oh unquestionably some | | | | and others days not so much. A good thing that |
| of these individuals are heroes and legitimate role | | | | often comes out of that level of self-acceptance |
| models but not because they are professional | | | | and behaviour is a continuous striving to do better. |
| athletes or entertainers. | | | | The important thing here however is to be aware |
| To make matters worse television networks | | | | of the limited amount of time we all have and |
| have gone to cheap television and created a | | | | accordingly strategically prioritize it. |
| monster in the form of reality TV. The tall | | | | If you agree that traditional religion and family |
| foreheads that are responsible for programming | | | | have declined, and with what James Hillman has to |
| at the networks determined that there would be | | | | say about economics being a slave driver than |
| a market for this type of 'trash' television and | | | | maybe it's time to circle the wagons and take |
| what is so incredibly frightening is that they were | | | | back your responsibilities as heroes and role |
| right. There are so many so called reality | | | | models, if not collectively than individually and |
| television shows on now that it is difficult to keep | | | | strategically carve out the necessary time to do |
| track of them. People are sitting down in front of | | | | the job that you signed on for when you made |
| their television sets everywhere, apparently | | | | the decision to have children. |
| watching and after a while accepted that this is | | | | In doing this you must either get back in touch |
| 'reality,' the way people live or should be living. It | | | | with your life's purpose or for the first time find it! |
| has gotten so bad that we even have individuals | | | | And you better hope that somewhere in its |
| and families staging outlandish stunts in the hopes | | | | definition the word children pops up? |
| of being discovered and offered their own 15 | | | | Let me sum up by telling a little story. On a |
| minutes of fame in a reality TV show. | | | | recent Sunday I found myself walking in the Polo |
| So What Has Happened Here? | | | | Park Shopping Center. There were many young |
| We have allowed three things in particular to | | | | families there on that day but I happened to |
| happen that have contributed to the lose of our | | | | notice one family in particular as they approached |
| moral compass. | | | | me; a mom, dad and their little girl no more than |
| The gradual decline of mainstream religion in North | | | | two feet tall, who was walking in between them |
| America is one. There are many reasons for this | | | | holding her mothers hand. As I watched, the little |
| and someone could write a big book on the | | | | girl looked up at her dad, reached up and took his |
| subject. The point that I want to make is that | | | | hand, and as she did this a beautiful smile of |
| whatever your beliefs may or may not be, and | | | | contentment appeared on her face. All was right |
| whatever your reasons are for attending or not | | | | in her world, her heroes were by her side. |
| attending church or synagogue, one thing that I | | | | The nuclear family was once the essential moral |
| am sure most of us can agree on is that along | | | | and ethical unit of society, we need to bring it |
| the way if nothing else these organized religions | | | | back. |
| have given us a moral code or moral compass to | | | | "We worry about what a child will become |
| guide our lives, our behaviours, that has stood us | | | | tomorrow, yet we forget that she is someone |
| well and has stood the test of time. | | | | today. |
| Some may argue but others would agree that | | | | |