How To Avoid Divorce

When you are both standing at the altar withLike anything else, communication is a two way
stars in your eyes and love in your hearts, it isstreet. One person cannot do all the talking and
difficult to think how differently things can be in athe other one do all the listening. Talking is a skill
short time in the future. For some, that shortthat most of us are born with, but very few of
time is measured in months or even weeks, andus have really mastered, or even tried to master
for others that time frame is measured in years.the fine art of listening. You need to listen to what
It is amazing to note the number of divorces thatyour partner is saying, and value that input since
occur after a couple has been married for 25, 30,that is what they are thinking, that is what they
or even more years in today's society.are at right now. They are probably giving you
But in truth, except in extreme cases, chancesclues, like a road map, in terms of how to get
are high that at least one of you, if not both ofback on the same page as you are on.
you, really do not want a divorce. A divorce has aFirst, determine what has caused you to stop
permanence about it that neither one of youcommunicating effectively. In today's world, the
want to face. There will be ramifications fromanswer to that is frequently the fact that both of
family members, friends, your church oryou are working full time, and at the end of the
synagogue, at your place of employment, andday, since you both put so much of yourself into
you just really do not want all those hassles. Youyour job, you have very little energy left over to
need to be asking yourself if a divorce is reallydevote to your relationship. It goes without saying
what you want, or if there are some things thatthat such a situation is not good and will inevitably
you could and should be doing differently, lookingwithout fail be detrimental to your relationship.
at from a different perspective, and taking aMake an effort to save some of your energy to
more subjective viewpoint with. After all, youcommunicate with your spouse after a long hard
realized a long time ago that marriage is a set ofday at work. It may actually help you to unwind,
compromises, and more often than not, a simpleinstead of rerunning the day's hassles in your
conversation about those compromises will clearlymind, to put those things out of your mind and
show that one or the other of you, and mostlyconcentrate on something else, like your spouse,
likely both of you, are not living up to thosewhat they did today, and what was important in
compromises.their day. Showing interest in the other is always
Divorce usually becomes a situation when twoa step closer towards effective communication.
people who were once very close, perhaps evenFor some couples, however, this is not enough.
soul mates, have become separated. Perhaps notThey have drifted too far apart for too long of a
separated physically, but separated in terms oftime to be able to effectively reestablish
being mentally on the same page with the samecommunication between them. There are more
goals and the same objectives. So digging a littleconsiderations you should be thinking about before
deeper, the root cause is almost alwaysthe answer of divorce should be considered,
communications, or rather, a LACK ofhowever, all of which should be very seriously
communication between the two of you. Soconsidered prior to deciding that divorce is the
would increased communication get you back ononly viable answer, because in a surprising number
the same page again? A surprisingly high numberof cases, divorce was only one of many viable
of cases, after counseling, report that the answeroptions.
to that question is yes.