| When I first started living with my now husband, | | | | there are other couples out there about to join |
| my protestant parents started calling him their | | | | interfaith forces, who don't want the usual heavy |
| "sin-in-law", and his Jewish parents made me a | | | | "Now think this through, are you sure you really |
| T-shirt proclaiming, "I'm the Shiksa". | | | | want to break your parents' hearts?" advice |
| We thought they'd be relieved and thrilled when | | | | column approach. Here are my top three interfaith |
| we announced three years later that we were | | | | memories from that perfect (if crazy) day. |
| going to get married. "He's making an honest | | | | 1. The Ketubah (traditional Jewish wedding |
| woman out of me, mom!" I told my mother on | | | | contract). It really is a lovely document, much |
| the phone. "Does this mean my grandchildren will | | | | more a piece of art than a contract to store in a |
| be Jewish?" she said. I quickly made an excuse to | | | | file drawer. We had our made by a local artist, |
| hang up the phone, and called her back later, | | | | and it remains one of our dearest treasures, |
| when my humor and compassion had returned. | | | | framed and hanging over our bed. My |
| That conversation was a picnic compared to the | | | | mother-in-law makes excuses to go into the |
| one that my dear fiance had with his parents. | | | | bedroom whenever she visits us so she can |
| Let's just say there were actual tears. And that | | | | admire it. Of course, this means I have to be |
| was just when he told his dad. We won't even go | | | | careful and make sure there aren't any fuzzy |
| into his conversation with his mother. That's for | | | | handcuffs still tied to the headboard when I know |
| the therapist he called shortly thereafter to renew | | | | she's on her way! |
| his sessions. | | | | 2. Wine. Thank all religions for finding holiness in |
| But family is family, and our love was (is!) real. | | | | our favorite beverage! Our officiant, who was |
| Both sets of parents came around, of course, | | | | neither rabbi nor pastor, but a friend ordained |
| because they are truly loving people with room in | | | | through the internet (!) read a wonderful blessing |
| their hearts for the family being built by our love, | | | | over two glasses of wine, referencing the |
| even if it broke some of the traditions they held | | | | Eucharist, the Jewish blessing of the wine, and |
| dear. | | | | even the ancient Chinese wedding tradition of |
| And then our mothers, also of course, started to | | | | tuan yuan [twen yu-wen], or "completing the |
| get excited about the wedding. "Who will design | | | | circle." (If you're less familiar with this one, it's |
| the katubah?" his mother asked. "Can we get old | | | | lovely: the wine cups are tied together with a red |
| Pastor Henry to officiate?" my mother asked. | | | | string. The partners sip the wine, then cross arms |
| "Oh, boy," my darling said. "Oy, vey," I said. "How | | | | to exchange the cups and drink again.) In each |
| about we convert to Islam?" | | | | tradition, the sharing and mingling of the wine |
| The truth is, neither of us are religious. We just | | | | symbolizes a harmonious married life. And of |
| aren't. But we do value some of the beautiful | | | | course we stomped the glasses after we drank |
| aspects of various religions, and wanted to honor | | | | from them. Who would ever have even a |
| our own heritages, not just for our parents' sake. | | | | half-Jewish wedding ceremony that skipped that |
| So we decided to embark on that crazy | | | | most fun, festive "step"? |
| adventure that is a not-particularly-religious | | | | 3. Dancing! Now, I'm not sure if Jesus technically |
| interfaith wedding. | | | | ever danced the funky chicken, but it's been a |
| Why we did not film this, I don't know. I express | | | | staple at every Christian wedding I've ever been |
| regret. It would have made a hilarious movie. | | | | to. And it transitioned perfectly into Hava Nagila, |
| Instead, I thought I'd take some of our favorite | | | | insuring that everybody had their chance to get |
| ideas and make an informative article, in case | | | | down! |