| Loneliness is feeling empty inside. It is a feeling of | | | | for the first time at one point. |
| separateness and isolation. It is a feeling of being | | | | Sign-up for a class. Most towns and cities have |
| out of touch with other human beings. People | | | | community colleges or recreation centers that |
| experience loneliness when they do not have | | | | offer adult education. Choose a class that |
| someone to depend on, a close family, a group of | | | | interests you-photography, creative writing, |
| friends, or relationships with people at work or | | | | bowling, or maybe even French. what to say, |
| school. A person can be lonely even when | | | | pretend you are interviewing that person for a |
| surrounded by other people. We can feel lonely | | | | newspaper article. Most people are flattered when |
| when there is a lack of intimacy in our | | | | someone shows an interest in them. |
| relationships. | | | | Suggest meeting for coffee or attending a |
| Loneliness occurs at all stages of our life. We may | | | | concert or play together when you meet |
| have felt it during our teenage years, as a new | | | | someone with whom you feel you have |
| parent, when the children left home. Perhaps we | | | | something in common. |
| never found Mr. or Ms. Right, or maybe we | | | | Understand that it takes time to establish intimate |
| experienced the pain of divorce or the death of a | | | | relationships and build trust. But, nothing is going to |
| spouse. Loneliness can be transitory and ebbs and | | | | happen until you start. |
| flows during our lifetime. Different times of year | | | | Volunteer your talents. Call your local volunteer |
| often make lonely people even lonelier. It | | | | center to see what services are needed. Choose |
| sometimes even causes feelings of loneliness in | | | | an activity that brings you in contact with other |
| people who have many relationships. | | | | people. Regularly scheduled time with other people |
| You can learn to live with your loneliness by taking | | | | can offer you a respite as you work your way |
| a proactive approach to it. The following are | | | | out of your loneliness. |
| some ideas that can help. Keep an open mind as | | | | Join an on-line community. Find sites of interest to |
| you read them. If you find yourself shaking your | | | | you that have discussion groups. You can read |
| head and telling yourself you can't possibly do | | | | what other people have to say and share your |
| something about your loneliness, realize that only | | | | feelings anonymously until you feel safe. |
| you can change the way you feel. If you don't | | | | Re-connect with distant relatives or old friends. |
| like feeling lonely choose to take action to change. | | | | Plan a reunion with people whom you haven't |
| | | | | seen in years. Bring together a group of your old |
| Accept the reality of your loneliness. It is neither | | | | high school buddies or cousins with whom you've |
| something to be ashamed of nor something to | | | | lost contact. |
| hide. Everyone, at some point in her life, has | | | | Exercise at a fitness center. There are fitness |
| periods of loneliness-some people accept it, others | | | | centers in every price range. Find one that seems |
| try to deny it. Accepting it is the first step to | | | | to have people your age. Exercise helps ease the |
| finding some relief. | | | | feelings of depression. Strike up a conversation |
| Express your loneliness. You may do it through | | | | with the person on the treadmill next to yours. |
| tears or by writing your feelings. Expressing your | | | | Meet people during a stretch class or swimming |
| loneliness to yourself can often give you insight as | | | | lessons. |
| to what is causing it. | | | | Take a bus trip for single people. |
| Question whether you need help in dealing with | | | | Seek help from a qualified counselor or therapist |
| your loneliness. Feelings of "aloneness" can often | | | | to try to learn how old patterns or communication |
| stem from depression. You may want talk with a | | | | problems keep you isolated or unable to develop |
| therapist or speak with the leader of your | | | | relationships. Social anxiety is real for many people. |
| religious community about it. | | | | Counseling can help you learn ways to deal with |
| Push yourself to have contact with others. Call | | | | social anxiety so that you will find it less stressful |
| your local community center, church, synagogue, | | | | to find new relationships. |
| or senior center. Ask for a list of groups and | | | | Choosing to reach out to another is difficult but |
| activities. Select one that appeals to you and then | | | | the rewards make it worth the effort. If you are |
| make yourself attend a meeting or program. It | | | | ready to address your loneliness and do |
| will feel awkward at first but you won't be the | | | | something about it, congratulate yourself on your |
| only person there who doesn't know anyone. | | | | willingness to take control of your life and then |
| Even if you are, each person there had to come | | | | take the first step. |