| Just speak your mind...this is the message that is | | | | that you are in control of what you say, and you |
| sent by our culture all the time (especially through | | | | are not controlled by your dislike for this other |
| U.S. reality shows). It has almost been seen as | | | | individual, if you continue on a path like this you will |
| somewhat of a virtue to just say whatever you | | | | also have more respect from those around you. |
| think or want-no matter the situation or the | | | | Let's take another example; you are in an |
| fallout. However, is this really a freedom that we | | | | argument, this could be with your spouse, child, |
| should pursue or is it a path that leads to a lack | | | | parent, co-worker, friend, etc. You know what |
| of self control and personal problems? | | | | you are about ready to say is not going to help |
| What if we say determines more than anything | | | | the situation or relationship at all, but you want to |
| the quality of our relationships and emotional and | | | | say it so badly. You want to win the argument |
| mental health? With our words we can help, | | | | regardless of what it does to the relationship. So |
| encourage, and care for people; with our words | | | | you say the hurtful, unfair, or simply unwise thing, |
| we can also destroy others, our own reputations, | | | | and you win the argument; however, in the end |
| and the general environment around us. Let's take | | | | you lose, because the relationship has been |
| a few examples. | | | | damaged, trust has been undermined, and you |
| At your school, job, church, synagogue, etc., you | | | | are left with a sense of guilt. Now, what happens |
| really can't stand someone. For some reason, that | | | | if you make the other decision? Perhaps, you |
| you can't quite put your finger on, they rub you | | | | don't gain the "victory" in the argument, but you |
| the wrong way. Every time you see them you | | | | gain a peace inside knowing that you were able to |
| start getting a little tense feeling in your stomach. | | | | control your tongue, find a more peaceful |
| You are with some other friends, and their name | | | | resolution, and help restore or protect the |
| comes up in the conversation. Right now...you | | | | relationship. |
| have a choice. One decision is deciding to speak | | | | This is a daily struggle for us; I think it is even |
| out about why you don't like this individual..What is | | | | more of a problem for many of us in "Western |
| the fallout? Perhaps, the information will get back | | | | Nations" especially the U.S. where the idea of |
| to the individual making an already tense situation | | | | "speaking your mind" has often been taken to a |
| a lot worse; you could also lose your own | | | | destructive extent. However, if we can learn this |
| reputation, as anyone who is seen talking bad | | | | often difficult and painful practice of controlling our |
| about others consistently is soon seen in a bad | | | | tongues, we will not only have better relationships |
| light themselves. Also, you could create unfair | | | | with those around us, we will have more peace |
| stereotypes and judgments in these other | | | | and joy within. Today, let's seek the Spirit of God |
| people's minds about this individual- whether the | | | | to give us the control that can help us control our |
| judgments are justified or not. The more wise | | | | tongue, which has the power of helping others or |
| decision of course is to keep quiet. You will find | | | | destroying others. |
| that this will actually produce joy as you realize | | | | |