| Choosing a ceremony officiant for your big day | | | | heart of your wedding day--a celebration as |
| can be a daunting task. If you are getting married | | | | opposed to merely a prescribed ritual? |
| in your church or synagogue, the decision is | | | | 4. Does the officiant honor all spiritual beliefs (or |
| simple.--you take what they give you, usually. But | | | | lack thereof) and view their primary role as that |
| maybe you don't belong to a church yet want a | | | | of facilitator of your ceremony? |
| heartfelt ceremony that expresses your personal | | | | 5. Is he or she adventurous of spirit and willing to |
| beliefs. If you are like many brides- and | | | | try unconventional things? Ask them to recount |
| grooms-to-be, you are looking for creative | | | | an example or two of creative touches they |
| alternatives to the traditional cookie-cutter | | | | have incorporated into ceremonies |
| ceremony. | | | | 6. Is he or she a proficient writer and a dynamic |
| You deserve to have your ceremony be like no | | | | speaker? Is their speaking voice pleasing to the |
| other and to develop a warm and personal | | | | ear and free from pauses, "ums" and irritating |
| relationship with your officiant. With the popularity | | | | phrases such as "you know," "like," and "OK." |
| of out-of-church-weddings, many people are | | | | 7. Is the officiant a one-man/woman show or is |
| hanging out their shingles calling themselves | | | | he or she part of a group? If they are solo, do |
| "wedding officiants". Beware, for you don't want | | | | they have a backup in case of an emergency? |
| an amateur handling this aspect of your big day. If | | | | 8. Do they offer more than one level of service |
| the florist or photographer doesn't show, it is | | | | in order to accommodate your needs and budget |
| unfortunate, but the day can go on. If your | | | | or is it "one size fits all?" |
| officiant doesn't show--you've got BIG trouble. | | | | 9. Do they have a wealth of written options for |
| Ask some of your recently married friends for | | | | you to include in your ceremony? |
| recommendations. Or, type in the name of your | | | | 10. What are their pre-marital counseling |
| state or city followed by wedding officiant (e.g. | | | | requirements, if any? |
| Colorado wedding officiant) into a search engine | | | | 11. Is their fee in writing? What extra charges, if |
| and you'll get a bunch of hits. Look for someone | | | | any, could possibly apply over and above the |
| with an established presence, who issues | | | | original fee? Are the payment terms reasonable |
| contracts and has a fairly sophisticated website. | | | | to you? |
| These are good clues that the person or business | | | | 12. Is there pressure to upgrade to a more |
| is stable and will be around for your big day. Then | | | | expensive level of service (perhaps including things |
| follow these guidelines when you meet with a | | | | you don't need)? Do they try to get you to book |
| prospective celebrant. | | | | on the spot, telling you that they may not be |
| | | | available for your date unless you book |
| 1. When you meet with him or her (or chat on | | | | immediately? Or do they give you the opportunity |
| the phone) do they exude a calming presence? | | | | to go home, discuss it and get back to them? |
| Does their energy fit in with what you are | | | | 13. Is he or she a professional wedding ceremony |
| seeking for your ceremony? Do they come | | | | officiant, or is officiating ceremonies his or her |
| across as being passionate about performing | | | | sideline business? Are they ceremony experts or |
| weddings? Are they interested in hearing your | | | | do they divert their attention to other wedding |
| story? If you find yourself smiling, or nodding in | | | | services? You don't want your officiant also |
| agreement as the officiant speaks to you, that's | | | | serving as your DJ or your bartender, do you? |
| a good indication that your wedding ceremony will | | | | 14. How long have they been in business? Do |
| be one that you will happily remember for many | | | | they have a written contract? What are the |
| years. | | | | contract terms? |
| 2. Will he or she help you to craft a ceremony | | | | 15. Is he or she willing to give you the benefit of |
| without restrictions--including all of your ideas? | | | | his or her experience of what has worked and |
| 3. Are they thorough and easy to understand in | | | | not worked in the past, and then leave the final |
| explaining the ceremony-writing process to you? | | | | decision up to you? |
| Are you clear on how it all works, the booking | | | | 16. Are they knowledgeable about their state's |
| procedure, how many meetings you will have | | | | marriage license procedures and do they advise |
| together, time lines, etc? You will want an officiant | | | | you on the process of obtaining your license? |
| who explains things easily and clearly so there will | | | | 17. Most of all, what does your gut tell you when |
| be no confusion on your wedding day. Does the | | | | you talk with this person? If it feels right, then |
| officiant view your wedding ceremony as the | | | | you've probably found the best fit for you. |