| I'm surrounded by strange jargon and I feel like | | | | mindless hulks that star in all those B-grade |
| an extra in a B-grade horrormovie. One mailing list | | | | movies, doing things without you being able to |
| I'm on has "trolls", and the latest virus can turn | | | | control them. Typicallynefarious things, like sending |
| my computerinto a "zombie", and my ISP keeps | | | | out thousands upon thousands of Web page |
| talking about "demons"! Egads! Do I need | | | | ornetwork ping requests (that's called more |
| somesort of exorcist to use my computer now?? | | | | formally a distributed denial of serviceattack), |
| On the assumption that you aren't John Carpenter | | | | helping spread a virus (which is so common that |
| and that you aren't trolling myweblog, let me tell | | | | people forget that mostvirii actually take over a |
| the scoop here! First off, don't panic, don't call in | | | | computer), or, the latest twist, serve as spam |
| an exorcist,and for goodness sake, don't spill a | | | | relay points,blindly sending out thousands of |
| bowl of pea soup on your keyboard! | | | | unwanted junk email messages. |
| Like any community, the online community has | | | | My understanding of how this works is that a |
| evolved its own specializedlanguage to more | | | | computer - typically a PC running |
| accurately communicate concepts. There are | | | | Windows - is infected by a virus which then |
| some famousexamples of professional languages, | | | | launches a program running secretly onthe |
| but my favorite is that Australian butcherscreated | | | | computer. Think "brain eating fungus" here. That |
| a language where they literally spoke backwards | | | | program then communicateswith a central control |
| so that they could talkwithout customers having a | | | | program that sends it a master email message |
| clue what they were saying. | | | | and a list ofthousands of email addresses. The |
| But back to our own particular form of | | | | connection is severed, and your Dell, Gateway, |
| communication! | | | | HP, Toshiba, or other PC suddenly starts opening |
| Participate on a mailing list or discussion board long | | | | up and firing off email after email. |
| enough and you'll find thatthere are certain people | | | | All with your return address, your return IP on |
| who pop in and add messages that are either | | | | the tracking data, and without anytelltale "Mailer: |
| diametricallyopposed to the shared values of the | | | | Zombie Mail 1.35 (installed by B.xx virus on 2 Feb |
| group or subtly insulting or demeaning. If | | | | 05)" header to letpeople know you're not the bad |
| theauthor is just offensive, well, there are people | | | | guy. |
| like that everywhere, unfortunately. | | | | To revive a zombie computer you need to |
| They're just, well, offensive. | | | | sacrifice a chicken, pouring the blood intothe ... oh, |
| But there are other people who post offensive | | | | no. Sorry, wrong article. What you need to do is |
| material for effect, to produce areaction and rile | | | | run an antivirus programfrom its boot CDROM |
| up the members of the community. They're trolls. | | | | (which, by definition, is clean and virus-free), which |
| If you go to an | | | | should beable to at least quarantine if not kill the |
| Apple Macintosh discussion group and post "Macs | | | | zombie infection. |
| are garbage and all cool peopleuse PCs", or go to | | | | Finally, when your ISP talks about demons, she's |
| a United Nations weblog and post "The UN is the | | | | really talking about Unix programsthat run "in |
| tool of Satan" oradd a comment on the Holocaust | | | | background" 24x7, and they're properly spelled |
| Museum Web site that "the Holocaust is a | | | | "daemons". If you'rereading this message, you've |
| fictioninvented by Zionists", odds are pretty darn | | | | sent a Web page query to the Web server |
| good you're a troll. | | | | daemonrunning on my own server, and if you |
| Most communities ignore trolls or, sometimes, one | | | | then follow-up by sending me an emailmessage |
| person responds with "troll:ignore" or similar to | | | | that explains why we never have angelic or |
| ensure that even new community members | | | | positive metaphors in theonline world (which I'd |
| avoid wasting theirtime trying to engage the | | | | love to discuss!) then your email program would |
| author in a debate. Sometimes, though, groups | | | | connect tomy email daemon, running a protocol |
| can spinout of control completely where the troll | | | | known as the simple mail transfer protocol |
| engages in an increasing incoherent debatewith | | | | (SMTP). |
| community members, who, predictably, start | | | | A long answer for a simple question, but in a |
| foaming at the mouth because ofthis person | | | | medium built around writing andbroadcast |
| assailing their core, fundamental beliefs. | | | | communication, and initially designed by nerdy |
| Referring to the original definition of trolls, I think | | | | misfits who preferred |
| they'd all do best to just climbback under their | | | | Dungeons & Dragons to cocktail parties with |
| bridges and wait for the next person to come | | | | the sorority across the street, it shouldbe no |
| across, personally. | | | | surprise that the jargon is so colorful and |
| Zombie computers are, like the staggering | | | | evocative. |