| Well, I surely don't know. That is precisely why I | | | | communities), the daughter pays someone to say |
| started saying The Mourner's Kaddish, a Jewish | | | | Kaddish who is going to go to synagogue anyway. |
| prayer in honour of the dead, after my father | | | | However, as with everything in Judaism, there is |
| died. It is frequently assumed that "saying | | | | more than one opinion. After a bit of looking |
| Kaddish" is the bastion of men. Most prayer | | | | around, I found out that there are some who |
| obligations in Judaism are. | | | | believe that it is better for a natural born child of |
| The idea is that each time the mourner says | | | | the deceased to say Kaddish -- even if that child |
| Kaddish, it elevates the deceased person's soul. | | | | is not a male child!!!! Good enough for me. |
| Now obviously we have no way of knowing if | | | | I knew that my brother would never say Kaddish |
| that is in fact the case or not. Committed religious | | | | to the extent that I felt it should be said, so I |
| people insist that it is. But, really, how do they | | | | decided to do it myself. When I told my mother |
| know for sure? No one has ever come back to | | | | that I was saying Kaddish everyday, she said: "Oh |
| confirm or deny that it is so. | | | | that's nice." |
| It essentially works like this. When your parent | | | | I am also not trying to make a feminist point or |
| dies, the male child or children are supposed to | | | | hold myself out as something special. I am just |
| say Kaddish three times a day for 11 months. | | | | concerned that since I don't know what happens |
| After a designated period of time, there is no | | | | after we die, that I better not leave a stone |
| possible room to elevate the soul any further and | | | | unturned. I don't want my father's soul sitting at |
| the deceased person's slate is clean so they can | | | | the bottom of the barrel because no one took |
| now go to The World To Come. | | | | the time to help move it to the World To Come. |
| In the event that there is no male child, it seems | | | | Of course, I do not know if such a place exists, |
| to me that the standard procedure is either that | | | | but until someone can prove to me that it doesn't |
| the husband of the daughter says Kaddish or (and | | | | exist, why take the chance? |
| this is looked upon with disdain in many | | | | |